Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize