maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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