A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
