Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
