I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
