New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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