I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
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So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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