Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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