I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
a search helicopter?!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
