Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
