I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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