Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize