We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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