So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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