I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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