the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
