I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
