all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
