Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize