i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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