I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
