How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
