He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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