And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
