just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize