Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
