Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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