someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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