super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is her dick bigger than yours?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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