I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
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I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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