Do you still have your period?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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