just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
