He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
