Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
