I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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