nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
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I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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