Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My breasts were aching with rage.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...