its not stalking. its research.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH