its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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