worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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