What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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