would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
