i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She just used a chaser for red wine.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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