were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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