In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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