i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize