i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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