In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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