I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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