I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My butt remains clenched, sir.