omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.