If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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