I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
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I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
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maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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