my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize